Measure of a Real Man

     One of the conference talks that really stood out to me was Elder Christofferson's talk from priesthood session. He entitled it 'Brethren, We Have Work to Do', an appropriate title given the contents. He proceeded to lay out everything that was wrong with the 21st century man and contrast it to the men of God that we are all to be. At one point he quotes an author who describes how boys walk into class wearing baggy trousers with an overall slouched appearance and a lame excuse while the girls on the other hand would come in with their day planners asking for law school recommendations. I've had that image running through my mind over and over again since I heard that talk and I feel somewhat disgusted. I'm disgusted that this is the image used to represent the men of my generation. Boys rather. This has motivated me to be determined not to be that kind of person that would contribute to that stereotype. In fact I am determined to be an exemplary man, a real man. I'll have you know mom that since I made this commitment I have made my bed every morning right after I get out of it, and I've kept my room clean. Elder Christofferson also points out that the media's portrayal and the expectations of men to day are not what the Lord would have them be. Men today it seems are expected to be pleasure seeker, fickle, insensitive, dim, lazy, and materialistic, which is ok as long as they stay out of the women's way. This we all know to be wrong. But let me ask. What constitutes a real man? Shortly before his death the Book of Mormon prophet Lehi exhorts his sons to 'arise from the dust and be men'.  What were they lacking? They all were mature male, each of them were married and proved great physical ability in crossing a desert and an ocean to settle a new continent. Why did Lehi feel that they still needed to be men? What makes a real man?

    I've thought on this  a bit and have come up with a few ideas so for this article I will endeavor to create a profile of a real man. Boys become men once they have proven themselves. It is a change that involves much more the puberty. A change where attributes and abilities are forged and fortified here are a few that I feel are necessary to obtain to be a real man.

     Appearance: The world would tell you that a real man is chiseled with a rock hard six pack, dark hair, and a nice scruff about his face. Its all about having a sexy body and wearing the latest and greatest. I will disagree. Presentable is the word I'll use to describe a real man. A real man takes care of himself. At all times is presentable and clean. I feel that a real man would not walk into class or out into public wearing sweat pants around his knees and an over sized baseball hat covering his eyes. A real man wouldn't walk around with nasty unkempt facial hair simply because he thinks its manly or because he is too lazy to shave. A real man is modest in style. A real man will carry himself in an appropriate manner. Maturity and reason should guide his actions and hold his image. When a real man speaks it should reflect his dignified character. Over use of slang and lazy speech is not appropriate for a real man.  A real man will speak his mind in a clear respectful way. Now I'm not saying that men should only speak in rhyme or with Shakespearian eloquence, I'm saying that a real man's speech should not be lazy or inappropriate. Yes, real men don't curse.

     Informed: The world tell us that men are to know everything there is to know about the sports team that they follow and religiously support. Unfortunately that is at times the only thing they can hold an intelligent conversation about.  A real man should be well informed. Building off of presentable speech a real man should be able to hold intelligent conversations. In order to do that one would need to have a broad foundation of knowledge. A real man should be up to date with current affairs, developing researches, styles, teachings, history, geography, and such. He should take it upon himself to form supportable opinions and develop an inquisitive nature, allowing him to constantly learn. A real man should be ready to adopt new positions and opinions when he learns of and is convinced of them. Though they should have personally formed opinions real men should not become dogmatic and close minded. There are few things that are more demeaning to the image of a man then one who will lose his temper when someone challenges his point of view or opinion. It is somewhat understandable to lose you temper when someone personally insults you but for someone to offer a differing opinion or present a different idea that you do not support is not grounds to ruffle your feathers and start shouting. A real man would listen, seek to understand, evaluate and using new information for or reaffirm his opinion.

     Firm Character: The most important thing about a man is his character. A real man has a firm character which is based on unwavering principles. Principles that are meaningful to him and serve as a discipline for constant predictable action. Integrity is at the center of character. Without integrity a mans character will fall at the slightest pressure. A man of integrity will live a transparent life. A real man has nothing to hide. People who observe and interact with a real man will never have to wonder if they are being deceived. He is who he says his is and does what he say he will do. A real man is reliable in every sense of the word. Maintaining a pure integrity a man will place his word above his life and will do all that he can to keep it. This then includes loyalty. A real man is completly loyal to his wife in every sense of the word. The wife of a real man should never feel insecure about herself and their relationship. She should have no reason to doubt his faithfulness in action word and thought. Having a pure integrity a man will always support his wife through better and worse. To maintain pure integrity and a firm character a real man must be disciplined. Disciplined enough to get out of bed when the alarm goes off. Disciplined enough to take a low grade rather then cheat when he did not prepare well enough. Disciplined enough to prepare in advance despite how easy it would be to procrastinate. Disciplined enough to tell the truth knowing full well the potential negative consequences. Disciplined enough to place his fixed principles above wealth, status,  and relationships. Without fixed principles a man is nothing more then a slave to circumstance.  A real man is one of firm character upon whom others can relay on to be stalwart, brave, supportive, helpful, and able. 

     Sensitivity: Might I endeavor to reverse a false manly belief. Men are not above emotion. It is not a sign of strength to be apathetic. Christ we know had compassion on many and at times, although he had a great eternal perspective that allowed him to see beyond sorrow, took time to weep with those that he loved. He truly mourned with those who mourned. A real man is sensitive to those around him. He is firm when needs be but sensitive to the thoughts, desires, needs, fears, and hopes of others. He is not afraid that he will be compromised and lose his 'man card' if a tear falls out of his eye. With sensitivity I might add that a real man is mindful. He is extroverted. He looks outward for opportunities to uplift and strengthen. He does not need to wait to be told of a need. He sees it and fills it without any promptings. He is sensitive of the needs of others and mindful of way he can improve their lives. He is mindful of his own weakness and gratefully allows others the opportunity to serve him. 

   At the end of the day a real man is a honorable priesthood holder. If a man will honor the Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood he will become a real man.  A real man will educate himself concerning the expectations that the Lord has of him. As he learns, he applies. Line upon line he adds new precepts to his fixed principles which govern his life and each day seeks for improvement. 

    A real man is a man who can look Christ in the eye with squared shoulders and a tear in his eye. A man who's heart is full with love and devotion. A man whose hands are rough and worn, whose grip is firm, whose back is strong and whose feet are quick to answer the call. I am not speaking of physical attributes, but spiritual. A real man is one who stand while others shrink. Real men will stand on the right hand of the Lord when all is said an done.