London Solomon has become one of the most influential
persons of my life. Let me tell you why. London was born as the youngest in our
family. Being the only girl in a house full of boys, she soon became the pride
and joy of the family, the spoiled over protected angel. She was the first one
to have a room all to her self and being the only girl everything she got was
brand new, a rarity in our family. Naturally she eat it all up and soon learned
how to work the system. She had our dad tightly wound around her figure. She
would come with the sweetest smile on her face, plop herself on his lap,
snuggle real close and tell him that she loved him. The moment his poor
manipulated heart would break she would field a request, which inevitably would
be granted. The rest of us boys would sit with our mouths wide open complete
taken back at the ease it took. We would have to scrounge, beg, and labor for
whatever treats she would only have to ask for. Now don’t get me wrong we had a
fantastic relationship with London as well. She always referred to us as her
boys and honestly sometimes it felt like we were in a gang and she was the
Godmother. Every Saturday we would be
given our list of chores and I swear she never did any; she would just divide
her list up amongst the rest of the boys. So bottom line she was the Princess
and we were the knights. By the time she turned five we were already imagining
what it would be like defending her from the suitors who would be lining up to
be her prom date. If she could manipulate her own flesh and blood the way that
she did we were convinced that she would have had the whole football,
basketball and tract teams under her thumb. We were preparing to have our hands
full. I’m sure this pre-mature preparation was completely unnecessary because
she was more then capable of handling things her self.
May 2005
rolled around. Poor London had caught a bit of a cold that was persistent and
just would not leave. It began to be a bit worrying when she had just enough
energy to join us for a family meal before she slunk off to bed. When she
started sleeping 20 hours a day we began taking her to a family doctor. He
immediately noticed that something was wrong and decided to have some blood
work done. The results would change our lives. Dad had taken us boys up to our
cabin to do some patchwork on the roof there. We had a great time laboring away
in the sun. The day we were to come home we stopped at a Chinese buffet for
lunch. Just before we began eating my dad received a phone call. It was mom and
she was obviously distressed. The test results came back and showed that London
had a rare and aggressive for of leukemia. Her white blood cells were deformed
and were not doing what they were suppose to hence her inability to fend off a
simple cold. We were told later that she was to under go five rounds of
chemotherapy and then she would have to come in for check ups
periodically. Normally at a time of
crisis like think I would be preoccupied imagining the most tragic possible
scenario and evaluating how I would handle it and what attention I would
receive. Instead I had a powerful peace come over me and I knew in my heart
that everything was going to be all right. I would replay this moment over and
over again is my mind throughout the next eight months. This moment of
comforting inspiration would at times be the only sense of hope that I had.
Chemotherapy
is seems to be a necessary evil. It is a drug that is used to target and kill
certain body cells causing immense pain and leaving the victim without an
immune system. Often the most noticeable side effect is the loss of hair. This
was something London was not ready to face at first. She had the most beautiful
full head of blonde hair that she wore proudly. She kept a good portion of her
hair for the first round of chemo but it couldn’t quite hold on for the second.
London learned to roll with the punches and became and expert at laughing. One
of the most heart retching days for me was a visit during this second round. We
knew that London was about to lose the rest of her hair and there was very
little that she could do about it. We also understood that she was a bit
sensitive about it and would wear a hat whenever people would come by. At this
time her hair was literally coming out in clumps when pulled. We brothers had
come up for our weekly visit on Sunday afternoon. I walked in the room and we
had to customary greetings and laughs then mom said,
“London
give him a hairy chest!’
I had no
idea what was going on but London gave mom a smile and an ‘ok!’ then she walked
over and extended her arms to give me a hug. So I pulled her close and she
started laughing and rubbed the top of her head all over me. She pulled back
yelling “HAIRY CHEST!” and jumped back into the bed. My heart hit the floor
when I looked down and saw that her beautiful blonde hair was now clinging to
my chest rather then to her balding head.
Being the awkward 15 year old I was I just shrunk back into the corner
without saying a word.
This is a
great example of London’s spirit. I am sure that her positive attitude many
times held my family together. Physically we were for the most part divided.
London had almost permanently moved into the Phoenix Children’s Hospital and my
mother with her, almost an hours travel away. The guys were left to fend for ourselves.
I probably have never eaten as much cold cereal in my life as I did during that
time. It is interesting to remember the difference in our house. It was quite,
it was peaceful, there seemed to be this spirit about the place that lead me to
believe that we were not alone and were constantly being supported. It seemed
so much easier to sit down and concentrate on homework. I enjoyed reading the
scriptures and each of us would actually volunteer to pray. No this might be the
hardest to believe but I cannot remember a single quarrel with any of my
brothers occurring during this time. Dad was pretty strung out at this time. He
was working long shifts with the police department and would whenever he could
shoot over to the Hospital to say hi. Many times he would call ahead and time
it perfect so that the girls would look at London’s window at the free way as
he passed by and wave at his hand sticking out the window. A simple yet tender
moment shared by my parents who were under such extreme stress.
London had
high aspirations for her life. She wanted to be the typical teenage drama
queen. Now when I say drama queen I mean the cheerleading, volleyball playing,
guitarist that wins everyone’s heart. Well she lived up to the dream.
Occasionally as her health would permit London would be excused from the
hospital for a little field trip home. These were always filled with tons of
fun. By this time not only had our ward rallied behind our family to support us
but it seemed like that whole community had as well. The Queen Creek High
School Cheerleading squad heard of London’s dream to be a cheerleader and she
was invited to cheer along with them. You should have seen her. Those poor
football players must have been jealous because as soon as that baldhead
started cheering and waving the pom poms the whole crowd stopped watching them.
I don’t think I ever saw London as happy as she was then cheering with the big
girls and supporting her older brother out on the field. At this time Hillary
Duff was at the height of her career as an actor and role model for young
girls. London was her biggest fan. By a stroke of lucky relations a friend of
ours ran into Hilary Duff and told her about London’s story. Hilary was touched
and soon sent a singed poster and guitar! These were London’s all time favorite
possession. She would not let us clumsy boys get any where near them! She began
learning how to play the pretty pink heart shaped guitar. Also on one of her
vacations she was invited to be the ball girls on two of Arizona’s best high
school volleyball teams. She practically glowed under the limelight. I’ve
spoken to a couple of the girls who were on the Xavier and Gilbert volleyball
teams each said that although what they did for London was great they found a greater
inspiration in this sweet six year old who was full of spunk and smiles.
The biggest
influence that London ever had on anyone was through the stalwart attitude that
she always had. She was so strong. I never once heard her complain about the lot,
which had been cast for her. There are a few vivid memories that stand out to
me where she would break into a rare negative spirit. They always centered on
the medicine that she had to take orally. She would fight and kick and scream
like a mad man to avoid it. As shameful as it was it would take more then one
of us brothers to hold her down as mother injected it into her mouth then hold
her mouth and nose shut until she would swallow it. Now the interesting thing
was that she would only really do that whenever we were around. It was soon
concluded that she would put on such a display simply to get close to her
bothers. As odd as it sounded it was
really touching to me that she would do that. I think London was best know
around the hospital as the girl who did cartwheels. It seemed like whenever she
was well enough she was up out of her bed tumbling around the place. Constantly
we would find her dressed up in her cheerleading uniform spotting a pair of pom
poms showing off a new cheer she had learned.
I was particularly impressed by her diligence in schoolwork. Her teachers back at home would send her schoolwork
and my mother would sit down teach her and help her through it all. They also
would memorize a scripture a week together. It was crazy my six-year-old sister was memorizing
scriptures faster then I could in seminary! Each Sunday when we would come down
for our weekly visit she would share the scripture with us and tell us what
they would mean to her. Of course mom would help her, but I do remember being
impressed by her spiritual maturity. This maturity is very likely the reason behind
her constant optimistic attitude. She always had a smile on her face, easy to
laugh, and continually wanted to play. I think for a while she was the life of
her hospital floor. Occasionally she would go on a tour and meet the other
children who, like her, were temporary residents. She made tons of friends
there. London would always tell mom that she wanted to have a little sister.
All growing up she had a doll or two or even a cat that she would carry around
with her everywhere treating it like it was her baby sister. Like the rest of
her wishes this one came true as well. The rooms were often shared with one
other patient and Maddy moved in next to London. Maddy was just a few years
younger then London and like her had beautiful blonde hair, well for a little
while. They soon became best friends. London looked out for Maddy as if they
had been sisters since birth. It was such a wonderful thing to see this little
girl, struggling for her life, reaching out and caring for someone else who was
suffering similarly.
Her
treatments had for the most part gone very well. As well as chemotherapy can go
at least. I don’t remember her catching any infections or other illnesses
throughout it all, even when she had absolutely zero immune system. Until the finally chemotherapy treatment.
Well had just buried my grandfather who had passed away as a result of surgery
complications and were now preparing for the Christmas season. My parents had
already bought the gifts and the timeline looked like London would be able to
be at home for Christmas! Then she got sick. We visited her a couple of weeks
before Christmas and I had a flash back to eight months previous. She lay
almost motionless on her bed, a grayish green complexion covering her skin. She
would only wake for very short amounts of time then return to sleeping for the
rest of the day. After her last round of
chemotherapy, when her immune system was at the weakest she had caught an
infection which the doctors were desperately trying to diagnose and treat. One
treatment after another failed and her condition worsened. Soon she was moved
to the Intensive Care Unit. During this time she was under heavy sedatives.
Theses sedatives were administered in cycles and in between each cycle there
was a chance that she would break out of her unconscious state. During one of
these she opened her eyes just long enough to tell mom that she loved her. One
last time. We were at home but both of our parents were at the hospital when a
family friend, Wayne Lamb, drove over and told us that he was going to take us
to the hospital to see London. It had gotten serious and they wanted the whole
family to be there. This was alarming. We were not allowed to visit the
hospital if we were even remotely sick. Brigg had developed a cough and the
doctors had specifically said to bring him. We did not know at the time but
they hoped that we as a family could get to talk to London during one of her
consciousness breaks. That never happened. We sat in the ICU waiting room until
midnight, occasionally seeing mom or dad and they would come in, talk to Wayne,
then talk to us. Personally I had no idea what was going on. At or close to
mid-night we went home only to return the next morning.
You could
see a heavy weight on my parents when we walked in. They didn’t say anything
but lead us into London’s room. She was almost unrecognizable. All the
antibiotics and drugs they had given her had practically filled her up and she
was a shade of yellow, probably due to a recent kidney failure. One by one her
organs had been shutting down and now she was on the life support machine. When
we walked into the room one of us asked mom what was going on and she simply,
courageously, and with all the strength of a mother said it was time to say
goodbye. Immediately we began all became
to cry. I will not go into detail what the next half hour held for us. It is
still too sacred of an experience for me to even talk about with those present.
But we held London as she was taken off of the life support machine and sang
hymns to our God until the heart rate monitor flat lined. The power and
serenity in that room is impossible to relate.
Soon a
doctor came in and respectfully checked her vitals and pronounced her dead and
it was time for us to go. Outside the front of the hospital we ran into two of
our aunts while our parents were inside finishing some business. We just held
each other and cried, something that would happen a lot over the next few
months. I do not remember the ride home just walking into our dimly lit house,
none of use said anything to each other. What were we suppose to say? There was
a permeating feeling of numbness as each found his corner and sat. What are we
suppose to do now? The rest of the day
pasted in solitary silence.
The funeral
arrangements were prepared. A few family friends made some extremely generous donations,
which keep our family financially stable between the doctors and the mortuary
bills. Neither my family nor I will ever forget how our family and the
community rallied behind us to support and lift us. It was humbling to see how
many peoples lives London had touch who attended the funeral. After all was
said and the news interviews were concluded we left for the burial. On a cold
winters afternoon we buried our dear princess in the cemetery with her family
who had been resting for four generations now. More hymns were sung, more tears
shed, more prayers offered and more gratitude expressed. Then we started the
long drive home. People ask how we ever got over the grief of such a loss.
Truth be told you never get over it. Always there is a longing to be reunited
with her. Often something like hearing a Hilary Duff song will remind you of
her. And occasionally you will purposefully dig up that old family video of her
spinning in a red dress in the front room and watch it. Truth is I will always miss her.
London had
strong faith and a belief shared by the rest of my family that our familial
bonds are eternal. That death could not separate what heaven had sealed
together. This is the very reason why London’s story is not a tragedy but is a
fairytale with a happy ending. It does end ‘and they lived happily ever after’.
That part just hasn’t been written yet. My experience with London has made me
into the person I am. She instilled in me a insatiable motivation to be the
very best person I can be. Her example has inspired me to always desire what is
right. She has shown by example that it is more important to reach outwards
when you feel like imploding. And she has proven that under the worst
circumstances we can still be happy and have a smile on our face. She inspired
me to serve an honorable full time mission, to share the gospel of Jesus Christ
with those who desperately need the hope it brings in their life. I hope to one
day prove worthy of the blessing of being reunited with her again and see the
fulfillment of the promise that the ‘same sociality which exists among us here
will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which
glory we do not now enjoy.’ (Doctrine and Covenants 130:2). I often think on that feeling I had on the 5th
of May 2005. ‘Everything is going to work out alright.’ Nothing could have been
more true. When all is said and done I have confidence that we will look back
and say ‘everything did work out alright.’
Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully
do all thins that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the
utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.
D&C 123:17
Absolutely beautiful!!
ReplyDelete